ouch, but in a good way

Legs were still sore today but I managed to get my workout done. Squats and deadlifts....ouch, but in a good way. Everything else seemed relatively easy. Oh, except for bench press. I don't know what the deal was with those. My push ups from the other day must have really done a number on my chest because I couldn't even finish out my 9 reps on the last 2 sets. I did 9/6/6 at 55lbs. Sigh...

I'm thinking I need to incorporate some metabolic circuit training too. I just haven't put together a plan yet. I know I need more exercise than what I'm doing. I'm fairly certain I can handle (and would benefit from) more than just 3 days of strength training per week. I KNOW that I can lose fat faster, I just have to get serious and commit.

I will ponder that tonight...

OMG - I am sore

Working out after my nearly two week hiatus rendered me a totally useless blob today. Maybe blob is the wrong choice in words. That would imply I had some fluidity to my movements. No, I'm more like a board than a blob. If I had to bend over and touch my toes, I might make it to my knees. I'm not very flexible to begin with. Add the muscle soreness and forget about it!

I'm dreading tomorrow's looming workout. Not because I don't want to DO WORK, but because I fear it's going to hurt like a (you know what). And that might affect how effective my training session will be. But, I'll suck it up anyway.

I was really surprised that I was able to meet and pass the total reps on push ups from my last workout. And can I just say that my boobs are screaming today?!

Aside from my boobs, my butt, quads and triceps are among the most tender areas. My whole body hurts, but those are the worst. Sitting down and getting up from the toilet is more than painful. Sorry - tmi.

What made your muscles scream today?

break

My two week vacation from exercise ended today. Wow, that went fast. I must say the second week was a lot easier than the first. I was full of guilt the first week and really wanting to break my "vacation" but I kept telling myself I need it, I deserve it. By the second week I was like, eh...whatever ;) Funny how quickly that kicked in.

After 8 straight weeks of consistant training, I took a two week break. Just in time to prepare for and enjoy the Thanksgiving holiday. And since it was at my house this year (with 25 people) and I was cooking the bird, I was thankful to have the break. I used the free time wisely - cleaning, cleaning, cleaning! And baking a little too.

Today I was back at it, starting with my bodyweight exercises. High reps. Felt the burn, oh baby. My legs are rubbery. I love being back. And can't wait to see the improvements I will make now. You know, taking a rest like this every once in a while is critical. It's like one step back to get two steps ahead. And I'm ready for the two steps ahead!!

On a roll

I am still on a roll. Is it into my 8th straight week of training, without missing a session? Can't remember, I'd have to look at my sheet. But something like 7 or 8. I'm feeling fabulous and my hubs commented the other day about how hard my legs were getting. Can't say I hated that compliment!

He comments on my abs now and then too. I really love it when he notices. Because I do it for him.

I told him that last week and he said "don't pin it on me now". Because he's always thought I was fine the way I was. When we started dating, I was a lot softer than I am now, and I weighed about ten pounds more. He doesn't want me to get too muscular so I lose my femininity. But if there is one part of my femininity I wouldn't mind to lose it's cellulite! I just want him to feel lucky to have me for a wife. I know he does. But there is always room to improve. Not just the body, but whole being. I could complain less, be more patient, those types of things. I'm working on that too!

I've decided that I am going to pierce my belly button. I've wanted to for years but I've been too chicken. It seems that everyone I know with pierced navels has said it didn't hurt at all, and since three of those people are my nieces, I believe them. They wouldn't lie to me, right? So this week sometime, I'm just going to do it. I had to ask my husband first if he would mind, because I know he really isn't into a lot of piercing and tattoos and stuff. Luckily he said that "it could be kinda sexy". My green light! I'll post pictures.

I got Your Shape for Kinect last Friday and can I just say WOW! If you want a FUN workout, this is it. I have only tried a few things so far so I can't wait to really get into it to see what it can do. The Kinect really gets my family moving. It's so much fun to have something we all like to do together while being active at the same time!

I've been tracking my body stats again for the past 4 weeks. I'm not changing very much. There was a slight decrease in my hip circumference (half an inch) and maybe a quarter inch per thigh. Also, my belly seems to have lost an inch but I think that fluctuates so much depending on how much carbs I've eaten the day before measuring. Weight is always the same. I hover around 113-116, but it's not my weight I'm concerned about. I actually want to gain weight, in the form of muscle. I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing. Maybe tweak my diet a bit. That's always the missing link in my results I think.

Have a great week.

Here's to energy!

My legs are hurting so good today!!

I rocked my workout yesterday. All that energy was such a blessing!

We have Kinect for xbox 360 and I would like to recommend it VERY highly to anyone looking to get a good workout without even knowing you are working out!! What a fun way to get your family moving!! You have to experience this game. It's so futuristic! No need for a controller, your BODY is the controller! We have the sports game and the dance game so far and they are awesome. I'm looking forward to getting the fitness games as well (gotta pace ourselves now, these games aren't cheap)! I was joking that we are all going to lose 5 pounds by Christmas if we play every night because we are sweating bullets and out of breath when we are done.

Have a fun, energy-filled weekend everyone! I know we will!!

I feel great

I feel seriously great today. I don't remember the last time I felt THIS incredible. My energy level is actually scaring me! I've been flying around the house cleaning, organizing, etc. Today, my workout ROCKED. I felt SO strong, like I could lift a bus. Even my flexibility was off the charts today. I don't know what is going on but I love it! Maybe it's because I got to eat one of my favorite cheats last night: a deluxe butter burger from Culver's. Oh heaven!

So on Tuesday I did all bodyweight exercises. High reps. My quads were seriously sore yesterday. Today, I revamped my routine. I'm going to stick with most of the same exercises that I've been doing in the past (squats, deadlifts, chest press, etc) but I'll start doing double progression (adding reps and weight) and cutting back to 3 sets instead of 4. That way, I'm still doing the routine that I love and has kept me consistent while still changing something.

I walked past my bedroom mirror today on my way downstairs, after changing into my workout clothes, and I had to stop and go back for a second look. Most days I feel as though my body is NEVER changing and it depresses me. But today was different. I don't know if it is my high energy awesome mood or what, but I actually think I'm seeing improvement!.

My hamstrings seem a bit bigger. My quads look slightly more defined. I still have that stubborn layer of fat over the top that I need to rid myself of (there's negative Nelly again!) but I really think that muscle is growing. Let's hope I'm right.

wow

Was I whiny yesterday or what???

I'm looking forward to today since I get to modify my workout. I have been at it for 6 weeks, and although I was planning on going to 8 before switching, I decided to do it now.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do differently. I really liked the method I was using. It was different every workout, performed over and over each week, adding pounds for progression. It kept me happy. I didn't get bored. It seemed just the right length. Frankly, I'm scared to change it because I did like it so well.

But I know it's the right thing to do. I liked the rep range (for whatever reason, I choose 7 reps, 3-4 sets of each exercise). I think I'll make it an even 8 reps now. Not sure what I'll do as far as sets. Maybe 3-4 again.

I'm going to make sure to incorporate compound movements so I can work the most muscle fibers in the least amount of time. Here's what I know I'll use for sure:

1)Squats - squats, squats, and more squats! They have proved to be a pretty good butt builder ;)
2)Push Ups - I want to be able to pump out 50 of these things without batting an eye
3)Deadlifts - I'm so addicted to this exercise. By far my favorite.
4)Pull Ups - I need a bar. Birthday gift idea, honey!
5)Chest Press
6)Military Press
7)Dips
8)Lunges - Maybe
9)Bicep Curls
10)Renegade Dumbbell Rows
And some ab work of course.


That's what I can think of right now. I'm just not quite sure how I will utilize these so that it's different than what I've been doing.

But for example, maybe, instead of using the barbell for squats and focusing on adding poundage each week, I can just pick a set of dumbbells and work on at 10 reps each time? Something like that. This way, I can still use the bread and butter exercises that I like without getting too funky.

And maybe, since I'm stalled progress-wise, higher reps can break me out of that plateau. We'll see what happens 6 weeks from now!

I consider the past 6 weeks successful in that I've been extremely consistent with my workouts. But also a little frustrating because I haven't seen any real noticeable changes, other than strength, perhaps.

Another thing that seems a bit odd is how slow it seems to be going as far as building my arms. I have read that since arm muscles are smaller, it doesn't take as long to notice changes. But for me, I don't seem to notice any new definition in my arms without flexing. With all the weight I've been lifting over the years, my arms should have major definition. Just seems odd to me.

I'll never stop trying!

what to do?

Just got done eating my lunch of tuna and spelt bread. I've been transitioning myself slowly into some new eating habits but one of the easiest changes I've made so far is switching to sprouted grain bread and spelt bread.

Luckily, our grocery store carries these types of bread. Sprouted grain is actually flourless. And spelt has a TON of protein.

So, every morning with my 2 whole organic eggs, I'm eating a slice of sprouted grain (with a pat of organic REAL butter). I'm still in "minimize carb intake" mode, I think because I still think carbs are going to make me fat and squishy. It's ridiculous. I mean I just can't make up my mind whether I want to add muscle or lose fat. And if I want more muscle, I have to feed my body carbs (plus I just seem to function better with them). Right now is ideal timing for packing on muscle since it's not bikini season anymore. But I still have such a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that I need to eat MORE in order to gain muscle. I want DESPERATELY to gain muscle, and the only way to do that is to eat properly along side my weight training program, yet I hesitate every time because I also want to lose fat.

I look at my measurements every week and see that I'm not losing any inches off of my problem areas so that makes it incredibly hard to want to eat up. Because I can't think in terms of "long term" results. I can't see [right now] that I need to be eating more and gaining muscle over the next 4-5 months, before I decrease my calorie intake for fat loss. It must be that I'm scared of gaining fat too.

But right now I'm stalled. Always stalled. In a perpetual state of stallidity (yes I know that isn't a word). My measurements never budge, the scale doesn't budge. I have completed 6 weeks of training without missing a single session. What is the missing link here?

It's probably my diet. I mean, it has to be. I just don't know what about my diet is the problem. I eat the way I'm supposed to most of the time. I'd say 80%. And I'm happy with that. Because I'm never going to be able to eat perfect 100% of the time. And frankly, who wants to? If that is what it is going to take for me to see the results I'm after, then I'm sorry to say, I guess it just isn't in the cards for me.

I shouldn't talk like that, it sounds negative. But I don't think it's negative at all, it's just being realistic. I know that I'm never going to be able to eat clean all the time, nor do I want to miss out on my favorite foods (which also happen to be naughty) forever. Then I guess I don't want results that bad, right? WRONG! That cannot be the case. Because it's ALL I ever think about. I'm dreaming of it constantly and have been for years. By the law of attraction, I should have it by now! I'm serious. It's always on my mind. It's an obsession, no doubt.

Then what is the key? I am desperate to find it. I feel like it's my destiny, I know that it's in my future, I can just feel it. But I can't seem to get there. I get so frustrated sometimes. Like, I'll think maybe it's because I'm taking birth control pills. I've read that the pill will inhibit your ability to gain muscle (and meds screw with your liver's ability to detox your body). But I can't stop taking them. I don't want to.

Or maybe I don't sleep good enough. I wake up a lot during the night and I wonder if I'm really getting enough of that rest full REM sleep that our bodies need. But I don't know what to do about that either. I'm not going to start taking sleeping pills. I really hate taking pills...for anything. I'm even horrible at taking vitamins, and I WANT to take those!

I don't know. I'm spinning my wheels but going nowhere. Same story as last year, and the year before, and .....

Do I need to move more? More cardio? Eat less? Eat more? Eat less of something and more of another thing? It's such an awful process of trial and error, with so many different factors and variables, AND everyone is different so no one will have the sure answer for MY problem. It's so very exhausting. Most days I wish it wasn't so important to me. I think I could find many other more productive ways to exert all this energy and focus on. Like, baking cupcakes with my girls. Or snuggling by the fire watching movies. Just anything that didn't require me to be in constant awareness of my diet and fitness.

I should be proud at the level of awareness I have. Most people (I wouldn't assume) have spent all the time I have researching and reading about living a healthy lifestyle as I have. Most 35 year old woman in this country with kids are probably overweight. I'm sure I could easily find a statistic for that criteria. I have a pretty good fitness level and low percentage of body fat, I should be proud of that. I am. But there is still improvements I want to make. And those improvements are so important to me. I don't even really know the reason it's so important. Acceptance? Self confidence? Youthfulness? I honestly couldn't give you a sure answer. All I know is that I desperately want to wear a bikini without having to hide behind a towel. I want to swim with my kids in public and have child-like fun. I don't want to obsess about if my gut is sticking out or if anyone is noticing my saddlebags and cellulite. It's a prison. I hate it. It makes me feel like I'm a pig who doesn't take care of her body. I just want to be rid of these problems so I can live a happy life, where I'm happy with myself.

I kind of got off the first track I was going down in regards to carbs. I was going to say that I know carb cycling works. I've tried it before and it has worked for me but it's almost unrealistic. It never fails that on a night I'm not supposed to have a starchy carb, something goes wrong. My whole pattern is screwed up, my flow is disrupted and it all falls apart. I have to meticulously follow the plan of 3 low, 1 high, with no cheating, or it simply DOES NOT WORK for me. It's damn hard to be that consistent and unfailingly strict. ESPECIALLY when I have to have carbs on the table for my family. The amount of willpower needed is just inhuman. And I'm human, so it's not working so well.

And I don't even know if it's the limitation of carbs that is what I need. Like I said I need to eat carbs while I'm lifting. I guess if there is one thing I haven't tried yet it's carbing and lifting for months in a row to try and gain muscle. And if that's the road I need to go down in this mess of trying to figure out how to get the body want, then so be it! I've got to try it. I just hope and pray that I will be able to gain muscle (me being a birth control pill swallowing girl, and all) this way. Come March, I plan on entering the "fat loss" phase of my master plan, where I will be eating less and adding more cardio...oh joy. Adding more would be just DOING it because as of right now, I've not been doing hardly any in an effort to preserve all the muscle I can!

Well, I'm done with my rant for now. I think I have more but this is getting kind of long. It helps to let out my feelings of frustration. Even though I don't have any readers to this "journal" of mine that can offer up advice or support, it's good to vent.