I took a "sick day" today. And I'm taking one tomorrow too. My mom couldn't be happier. She has been trying to convince me for days to take a break from working out. She even called me this morning to tell me that she wasn't going to pick me up and take me to the gym because she thought I needed to rest. She is driving lately because #1) my van won't start - engine troubles #2) it is the surest way to get her to the gym every day.
It is reeeeeally hard to do nothing. I have rested ONE day and already I feel as though I'm setting myself back. I even feel fatter. I know it's all in my head, but still, the mental part of this game is just as big a player as the physical part. I'm wondering if I should just take the rest of the week off and start over with week 10 next week. I will be all screwed up if I don't. Plus, then I will have a good chance at getting over this bug. Actually, I've even toyed with the idea of scraping the rest of phase 3 until after Christmas, seeing as how it's been so difficult to stay out of the Christmas goodies. No matter what I decide to do, after Christmas this house is going to be completely devoid of junk food. I'm going to have 4 major sugar addicts going through some serious withdrawals, BUT, it's necessary. It'll do them good.
I plan on doing Joel Marion's Extreme Fat Loss 25 day diet when I'm done with the fit trainer. I know it's super hard core with shake days and fasting days, but it's on 5 day cycles and every fifth day you get a cheat day to eat whatever the heck you want. Sounds like heaven! I'll gladly go through a fast day to get a cheat day ;) The training that goes with it varies depending on the type of day. So like on the fast days, the training focuses on lactic acid for maximum calorie burn (or so I've read in reviews). I haven't actually read the manual yet. Anyway, it sounds scary but I want to try it.
The fact that I can hardly stand to take a day off from exercise without extreme guilt and worry really proves the grip it has over me. I would almost call it a sickness. I'm sure a lot of people would agree that it's a tad unhealthy from a mental standpoint. But I just can't help it. I know I'll never be able to stop because just one day off sends me into a hole filled with self loathing and despair! I'm powerless to stop caring about body image. There are people who don't care at all about sagging body parts and their expanding waistline. They just figure, it's all part of aging. For some reason, I just can't not care about it. I don't feel ready to look like I'm "aging" yet. My soul is still so young and I figure my body should look as young as I feel.
I have a goal. And it's set pretty high. Having a goal like mine requires a lot of extreme behaviors. I guess in a way, it has to have a grip on me in order for me to reach that goal. It might really torture me mentally at times, but I look at it like a job. There are a lot of career driven people in this country. People that want to rise to the top have to work long and hard to get there. And there are sacrifices along the way. For the career driven person, the sacrifice might be time with family. For me, the sacrifice is certain foods. But the reward at the end will be so sweet. You are willing to work for whatever is important to you. As the saying goes, if it's worth having, it's worth working for. And that saying is part of what keeps me sane. My mind may be a mess of doubt, frustration, longing and cravings but the one thing that keeps me going is the image of what I'm working toward. And it IS worth it.
Call me sick. Call me vain. Call me selfish. Call me shallow. Call me stupid.
Then add...
Dedicated. Committed. Devoted. Strong-willed. Passionate.
1 comment:
just keep eating clean and maybe drop one carb a day whilst you are sick and not working out. with the bodytrim programme im on i only eat a carb prior to going to the gym (if i make it which hasnt been for over a week) and i know i burn it off in my workout. the rest of the day is different proteins and veg/salad and protein bars (1.8g carb) and coffee and in a week ive lost my muffin top already.
keep going with phase 3 over xmas. if when you have finished phase 3 and you feel you didnt do it properly - do phase 3 again immediately after. if you dont stop now you know you have completed a challenge to the end (unlike me!) and have accomplished something. if you stop now you will slip into bad habits. you need the structure and guidance of phase 3 to keep you going. im sure other people including jamie have been sick mid challenge and they havent stopped. keep going girl! you are nearly at the end - do it for me! this will break a mental barrier if you can work through this and keep going!! i know you can do it. this will be such a breakthrough if you can do it and it will make you feel invinsible!!!!! its nearly within reach - you are closer to the end than the beginning DONT STOP!!
i will get off my soapbox now!
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