Is this goodbye?

I don't like where this blog is going.

Somewhere along the way, I've started paying more attention to my fitness blog than my family blog (which is the first blog I started many years ago - back in 2008, I think). And, even though I feel like I have a lot to say, I don't think that much of it is anything you want to hear. Mostly, I rant about what happens to be on my mind at the moment and it usually isn't very insightful or helpful. At the time I'm writing it, my hope is that somewhere out there is a faceless, anonymous person I am helping somehow. But the truth is, I don't have much of a following.

At first, I was ok with this. Because for the most part, I was just journaling my progress and adventure into fitness. With the hopes of inspiring people along the way. But I don't think I've made enough progress to be inspiring. And so it just seems that I spew a lot of the same information over and over again.

Now that I'm busier and actually have a career that I am trying to grow, I have less time to blog about my thoughts on fitness endeavors. It seems almost frivolous. It's not that I've lost interest in fitness or improving my body or helping others - it's not that at all. I just feel that I need to start investing that time to other things that will ultimately be of more value to my whole family vs. just myself.

Plus, as I said, I don't like the direction I'm taking with this blog. I've looked back on some of my more recent posts and I feel they cast a negative shadow, and I don't want that. I don't want readers to think I'm a negative person in general. Because I'm not. I definitely have my days where I might be feeling a bit sorry for myself or when I'm on a rant. But that isn't who I am. And I find myself going down that road too often anymore.

So, that being said, I think I'm done. I know I said before that the posts would probably slow down, and they really haven't. But I haven't come up with any good topics or content in a while. And that is probably an indication that I need to focus on other things.

I will miss it. And I will miss the few comments I get. And I'm sure I'll be back to rant. Whether anyone reads or not. It's a good outlet for my frustrations and thoughts. Sometimes, my mind is just so FULL that I need to get some OUT, so I feel like I can relax. Do you ever get that way? I mean, I have so many thoughts that at times it's hard to fall asleep at night! I lay there and think....for hours! I don't know why I do that! But journaling helps get things off my mind. I really need to just start making daily "to do" lists. Because most of my thoughts are of the many things I want/need to get done. There is always so much....

I will still be thinking of you. Especially my main commentor (I'm always wondering how you are doing, Amanda). You were always my biggest source of motivation and a huge support when it seemed like no one else cared. It has meant so much to me that someone half way around the world who doesn't even know me can be so there for me when I need it the most. I hope we can keep in touch! Stop back every now and then.

And to everyone else, thank you for reading, and putting up with my mindless banter.