To Hanna

I am dedicating this post to my 13 year old daughter, Hanna.

Today, Hanna came up to me and said that her pants are starting to feel loose around the waist and she keeps having to pull them up. I just about tackled her I was so happy. I high fived her and then said "SEE!" I hate to be the one to say I told you so but......

I don't think she truly believed that just tweaking her diet a little bit would help. I kept telling her that little things can really add up. So now when I torture her by not letting her drink pop, I can remind her that her pants are loose and that is part of the reason why. Pop is nasty crap.

Hanna was told at her last visit to the doctor (last fall) that she wasn't "overweight" but she should be careful not to gain anymore. Since then, she gained quite a bit. I won't say how much because I know that she is sensitive about it. I have struggled all year with her to try and help her get the extra weight off. Even though she laughs it off when people say hurtful comments to her about her belly, I know inside she hurts.

I hurt with her. I hurt for her. Every time she puts a sweatshirt on to cover up. Every time she crosses her arms over her stomach. Every time she tells me in secret that she wants to lose it....we hurt together. I love her more than she'll ever know. So I have been trying to help her. I am trying to motivate her to exercise but she just doesn't like to. I try to encourage her to make smart food choices but like everyone else, she likes what tastes good and is easy - most of the time it's not healthy.

And I know that part of her weight gain is my fault. I am the one that shops for the groceries, I am the one who prepares the meals, and I am the one who lets her get the giant bacon cheeseburger with fries when we go out to eat. Well, no more! I decided that it was time to get hard core. So I put her on a "diet" that is basically what I would eat. Examples: NO MORE SODA....ever, no fries, she had a turkey burger without a bun just like mom when the rest of the family had beef burgers, no bacon and fried potatoes when we had "breakfast for dinner", no ice cream or other treats during the week but if she adheres to her good diet all week she can have ONE on Saturday, more veggies, no hot dogs, etc.

She hates it. She really hates it. But she does it. She whines about it, but she does it. And obviously it's working. Now that we are playing outside on nice evenings (tag, and kickball, etc) I think that will help even more, especially since getting her to formally "workout" is tough. I know that limiting her treats and food that I would consider cheat foods or naughty foods is necessary. But it's hard. Why does it have to be so hard to deprive her of what she likes, even though I know in my heart it's for her own good? Why do I have to feel like such an evil horrible mom for making her go through this? I know how hard it is. I "deprive" myself of these things too, but I'm way more accustomed to it now. Plus it's by choice and self motivation that I do it - not by force the way it is for her. Tough love, I guess.

I was scared to put her on a diet at first. I felt that people might look at my healthy diet and fitness obsession and think I was inappropriately forcing that lifestyle onto my children. But why should I care, even if that was the case? There are far worse things a mother could be passing onto her children; like smoking, or drinking, or physical abuse. Still, I sometimes think I am picking up on that vibe from other people. As if what I am doing is wrong. For the most part though, I am supported. Afterall, I am listening to the advice of a pediatrician. There is no harm in promoting a healthy lifestyle, even to kids. The earlier they can learn what is good vs. bad for their bodies, the better. I only wish I had a better understanding when I was younger. I am proud to say that I am teaching them to live a healthy lifestyle.

Too often we are told to just love ourselves the way we are, to hell with unattainable standards that models and actresses have set for us. But really, I think that isn't any better. Because then we are saying, go ahead and live your unhealthy lifestyle, become obese, it's ok as long as you are happy and love yourself. Well, I'm not buying into that. Sure, it's no good to promote rail thin bodies as the standard for beauty, but you can't teach kids that it's ok to carry excess fat around your organs either. It's ok to promote health. It's ok to promote fitness. It's ok to promote nutritious foods.

So anyway, Hanna is putting in the effort (not always willingly) and starting to see results. Good for her!

Oh, and I just have to say how proud I am of my sister-in-law, who has also lost weight. She emailed me asking for help about a month ago and I was so super excited about it. I gave her some advice to follow and after a month of devoting herself to new diet plan, she has lost 14 pounds! I am so so so happy for her. I hope she continues to find success week after week until she hits her goal.