up and down

I'm so up and down lately. Today was mostly an up day. I was really tired. I was exhausted yesterday so I went to bed early, thinking I'd be able to fall asleep fast. 2 hours later I was still awake, thinking about how miserable my day would be today. But, my work day is done and it was my last day working double shifts YAY! I am done at 9:30 every day all summer long. Barring anyone asking me to work their shift.

It was also an up day because I finally feel like I might have some energy to workout. I'm planning on going to Dance Fit tonight. I haven't at all this week - too much stress at home. But today, I'm thinking like I can handle it.

I can feel my motivation sort of creeping back up. I made a decision yesterday to start being more aware of what I'm eating and it's ok so far. I went to the store so I would be prepared for the week. That is always a key element in success, for me.

Breakfast is: 100 calorie Greek yogurt, 1/2 avocado, coffee, green tea
snack: none, but if I'm starving, strawberries & cucumbers, green tea
Lunch: 100 calorie Greek yogurt, 1/2 avocado again (or, whey smoothie with kale, Greek yogurt,1/2 banana, 1/2 avocado)green tea
snack: granny smith apple
dinner: broiled chicken breast, salad, asparagus, green tea

If I'm hungry around 8:00, I would probably have either two hard boiled egg whites.
If I'm REALLY craving something sweet after dinner, I would probably give in to the urge to have 1 or two squares of dark chocolate. I get the intense dark kind, which is 80%

Going to TRY this for at least a week, maybe two, just to get myself into the habit of eating healthier again. And eating less. I want to shrink my stomach so I don't need to eat so much to feel full. I usually track my food on Livestrong MyPlate. It's so much easier to keep myself in check having this tool at my disposal.

Just today, I logged in and set my goal to 2lb fat loss per week. That's a big scary goal! I don't even know if it's possible. But I'm going to TRY. It has my calorie goal at 800 per day - which is practically insane. But when you factor in calories burned through exercise, you can actually get away with eating more. I will burn around 450 calories a session, so I can actually eat 1250 calories a day and still meet my goal for 2lbs a week. It's lofty, but like I said, I've got to try it. I'm just not happy in my new flabby body.

So, as of right now, I've only got 118 calories left before I hit my max and I've got dinner to eat yet. BUT, since I will be working out, I actually have roughly 560 calories to eat for dinner. Chicken breast will be 130, asparagus will be 50, salad with olives, feta, and olive oil - no clue what that calorie content will be. But I've got wiggle room. Maybe even for a chocolate square????

Hopefully I can last on those food for a while. I know it's pretty basic and there is a lot of repetition with very little variance, but that is what I need. Too many options in my refrigerator always sets me up for failure. Plus, it's a great way for me to get fruit and vegetable servings in. I debated about the banana in my smoothies. I might change it up and add berries one day and half a frozen banana the next day, etc. That way, I'm really only eating a whole banana once every 4 days. My rule about fruit is usually stick to the low sugar content stuff: berries and granny smith apples. Although, the benefits of bananas are too good to pass up. So I buy them, peel them, cut them in half, wrap them in plastic wrap, and freeze them. That way I always have a fresh frozen half a banana for a smoothie. Brilliant if I do say so myself ;)