Reset

I've been doing a little back and forth chatting with an AMAZING woman. She is a figure competitor in her 50s and her physique is stunning. She would be amazing to have that body at 20 and to think she is 50 and looking that good is a just crazy awesome. There is a lot of hard work and dedication into looking like that. And she just recently took home a first place trophy at a figure competition! MUCH deserved.

I feel like I have put in a lot of hard work and dedication too (obviously not as much as she has) but I still don't feel like I have the body to show for all my efforts. Something I'm doing is not helping, but hindering the progress I feel like I should be making. So I decided to go out on a limb and contact this woman, tell her a bit about myself and my "problem" and see if she could help me. Pinpoint what I was doing wrong with training and/or diet and give me a few suggestions.

She graciously agreed to help me out, despite having a family, full time career and crazy training schedule herself. I felt guilty about asking so much of her. I hope that some day, I can return the favor somehow.

Anyway, she wanted to take a look at what my training schedule was, the workouts I did and what I was eating. Lucky for me, I track all that stuff so I was able to fill her in. One thing she said really sticks out in my mind:

"Cardio is not your friend."

As you know, I am a staunch advocate for weight training OVER cardio as the way to get the body you desire. Unless you desire to be "skinny fat". That's a term for skinny people who look soft. If that's your desired outcome, do tons of cardio!

She looked at my workouts and told me I was doing too much cardio. Which was shocking because I really didn't think I did all that much. I had recently ramped it up in the final stages of a timeline to goal, as prescribed by my latest road to fat loss guru. But that was only 20 minutes after weight training plus a couple of HIIT sessions on off days. Typically, the only cardio I would do in the past would be 3 sessions, 20 minutes each, of high intensity interval training (HIIT) per week in addition to weight training. That's only an hour a week. HIIT has never proven to be a super effective way to burn fat off my body either. I like to do it for the cardiovascular benefit more than anything.

Also, she didn't think that I was eating enough calories. It always seemed strange to me that eating less calories and being in a deficit never produced fat loss. Sure, it did when I had lots of weight to lose, but the smaller I became, the more impossible it was to shed fat. I'm probably at a point where I need to just eat. And eat enough calories and do enough heavy weight training to gain as much muscle as I possibly can. That's the only way my shape will improve and look the way I want it to look.

Right now, I'm skinny fat (although my family tries desperately to convince me it's just skinny....I know the reality). Because either I would be solely training with weights (yet eat like a dieter, trying to lose fat) or I would go through periods where I thought I needed more cardio because the weight training on it's own wasn't working. So I would start running daily. But all those years I spent weight training and dieting at the same time, I wasn't adding much muscle and the muscle I might have added got wasted away when I decided to add cardio to the picture. Of course I wasn't improving! I've been spinning my wheels and driving myself insane trying this, that and the other thing because I feel like nothing works for me. All this time, I just needed to eat and GAIN.

For the past two weeks I've let a lot slide. I haven't been killing myself in the gym and I haven't been sticking to any sort of diet. My family seems to be a lot happier about it. But I am not. My stomach hates me. It tells me daily. But I'm just giving myself a break from it all. A break from the obsession. A break from the constant worrying if what I'm doing is right or wrong. I am trying to live like a "normal" person until I figure out what my next goal is and how I'm going to achieve it. With the help of one terrific lady. If you happen to read this, you know who you are. And you have NO IDEA how grateful I am to you for trying to help me out.

So, while I will not have my perfect bikini body YET AGAIN for summer, I will not give up. I'm done with fat loss, I'm done with my timeline, I'm just going to switch it all off. Reset.

worth reading

I don't have much to blog about lately. However, I did read something that I think is very worth reading. I follow Flavia DelMonte's blog "Flavilicious Fitness" and today's post is a good one. She talks about why it's important to lift weights. Why you will never achieve your perfect body by starving yourself and avoiding weights. How by just adding 5lbs of muscle, you can burn an extra 1,750 calories a week! And a plethora of healthful benefits (including longer life span). Check it out:
http://www.flaviliciousfitness.com/blog/2012/05/13/10-reasons-women-should-not-be-scared-of-gaining-muscle/

flying low-mo

I have nothing inspiring for you today. My motivation is in the toilet at present. I've been pretty slow and tired all week, and I'm not really sure why. I've been working at my photos again. It's for a business venture that I am trying to get started. It's such a slow process and I always feel so tired and lazy when I'm at the computer most of the day. Today it was just too nice out to be fiddling with pictures. But still, motivation for working out is extremely and unusually low. Maybe I'm over reaching a bit. A slow down certainly isn't going to kill me.

But I just wanted to let you know that I'll be back to normal posting soon.

New week, new macros

After trying a round of carb/calorie cycling, and not seeing ANY result from it, I tried a solid calorie goal for each day - no cycling. Keeping my carb intake around 41%, protein at 26% and fat at 33%. That didn't seem to do a whole lot either, although I only gave it a 5 day run before the Nebraska trip. I don't expect to see phenomenal changes from week to week but I should see SOME form of improvement each week. The pisser of it is, I'm wasting away weeks here trying to figure out what will work at this point. I'm getting closer and closer to my goal date and don't feel like I'm going to make it.

The deal with low/mod/high day cycling was that the moderate days weren't cutting it. Because they weren't high enough in calories to promote muscle growth and not low enough in calories to produce fat loss. So they were just a waste of time.

Then, I tried bumping up the carbs while keeping my calorie range in a place that should allow for fat loss. I'm trying to believe that carbs are my friends. But it didn't feel like my carbs were all that high since I was eating most of them before and after my workouts, a lot of them in the form of a drink. I thought the fat content to be a little high along with higher carbs.

So now what am I doing? Well, I'm trying to keep the same range of calories daily but now my macros are looking more like this: Protein 45%, Carb 31%, Fat 24%. That's 162g of protein for me! You know how incredibly hard it is to get that much protein and try to keep a calorie goal in check?? Yesterday I hit 141 grams, still 21 grams away. I guess I could have had another protein drink and that would have hit the target exactly. But I had 4 of them the way it was. I have to have one pre workout, one post workout, one 4 hours post workout and one before bed.

Calories for me are 1438 per day (500 lower than maintenance for a fast metabolism). And I have two days a week where I bump up the carb intake. Monday and Friday. Oops, I was supposed to do that yesterday! Stupid! I will have to move it to tomorrow.


But, I'm going to keep up with these macros because I am a Protein Type. Something new I learned about myself. Have you heard of metabolic typing? Each person has a metabolic type. This explains why one person can lose weight on a particular diet, while another person might gain weight on exactly the same diet. It makes sense really.

I answered two different questionares from two totally different sources and both said that I was a protein type. What that means for me is that I metabolize food really quickly and can feel hungrier more often as a result. I do better on a high protein diet. Not only that, but the fattier proteins like chicken thighs over breasts, for instance. Carbs don't do my body well and I should never eat them alone. I may have trouble losing fat when cutting calories (BINGO!!). This is quite obvious since I've spent weeks working my tail feathers off at very low net calories with NO RESULT.

This is even more interesting to me: juice in moderation. Even freshly juiced vegetables because this will strongly imbalance my metebolic type and lead to weight gain, food cravings, energy disruption and desire for sugar! That blew my mind. How could that be??? Juicing is so healthy! But here I am probably doing all the things I shouldn't be for my type. Even caffeine is bad for protein types. And to think that I was taking Prograde Metabolism for like 3 months and it didn't do a thing for me! Maybe because the main ingredient was a caffeine blend. I love coffee but I don't drink much of it anymore so I should be ok there. I'm starting to like my daily "tea times".

I'm supposed to avoid foods high in oxalic acid. This includes healthy fare like green peppers, berries and tomatoes! All of which I love and eat often.

Citrus fruits are the second worse offenders next to alcohol. And I religiously drink 1/2 cup of grapefruit juice every day and squeeze fresh lemon juice into my water throughout the day. Ugh! All these things that are supposed to be so healthy are possibly hindering my progress! Who knew?

I just don't know how to feel about discovering all of this, but I am interested in finding out if there is really some truth to it. Only one way to find out! I seem to be running around in circles of insanity, doing the same things over and over because EVERY guru on the net says to, yet I don't seem to be progressing. Maybe metabolizing food quickly makes it harder to gain muscle?? I don't claim to understand it all, but I am dying to find out more.

If you are interested in finding out your metabolic type and hence a diet that is ideal for YOU, you can take one of the online tests I did here.

Hanna

This is my eldest daughter - Hanna.

Isn't she beautiful?!

I try to tell her that as often as I can, because I don't think she feels beautiful.

Just the other day she broke down because she was feeling bad about herself. We had just gotten back from our Nebraska trip and she was getting ready for school and just broke down.

She was reluctant to talk about it but eventually I was able to get it out of her.

She feels bad about her body.

Her jeans are all getting snug and her shirts have to be baggy or she won't wear them. I just took her shopping to get her new jeans (she picks skinny jeans, of course, 3 pair) and now she doesn't want to wear them. She feels insecure in them.

I asked her why she always picks out skinny jeans when she never wants to wear them and she never really gave me an answer. But I think that she just wants to be like everyone else. She wants to wear what other kids wear. Which I can totally understand.

When we were in Nebraska for the confirmation, there were a few girls her age there. And they were all skinny and wearing skinny jeans. We happened to pack a brand new pair of skinnies for Hanna to wear to church that Sunday but she refused. I mean, sat on the bed in her underwear REFUSING to wear them. I had no idea what the problem was since we just bought them and she loves them (they are a vibrant bright blue, really cute).

I did finally put 2 and 2 together and realized it was because she didn't want to feel like the "fat" girl at the party. My heart just sank. I cry every time I think of the pain she feels because of her body and how she is always trying to hide it. That is my baby! How could I let this happen to her??

She is short. She hates it. So it doesn't make things better to be overweight AND short. It's hard to find clothes that fit her. Pants are almost impossible to find. And she is super picky about shirts. Usually, she only wears sweatshirts so she can hide her belly but now that it's getting warmer, she is forced to wear something lighter. T-shirts have to have longer sleeves (no cap sleeves). No v-necks, in fact, it has to sit really close to her neck or she won't wear it. Nothing fancy or pretty. She tells me, "you just have to get over the fact that I'm not a girly girl.". But I'm sure it has a lot to do with body image.

Being an avid exerciser and lover of nutrition, it seems odd to me that I would have let her weight issue slide for so long. But it's so hard just to motivate myself at times and it's even harder to get her to want to work out and not eat so much. She wants to lose weight, she wants me to help her, but when it comes down to it, she would rather just eat what she wants and not move.

It's such a frustrating situation. I love her so much and want her to be happy with herself, yet I hate having to deprive her of foods the rest of the family eats. It just doesn't seem fair for a child to have to deal with being overweight. She should get to eat chips and ice cream and french fries without gaining an ounce, like I did growing up.

Being an active person, you would think that would rub off on my children. But maybe I started too late in the game for Hanna. My other two children show an interest in health an fitness, but I've been a fitness nut as long as they can remember. During Hanna's early years, I wasn't big on health.

I didn't want this to be a depressing post. But I am sort of bumming myself out. Like I said, my heart breaks for Hanna. I want her to be happy with the way she looks. I want her to be like other teenage girls who like to curl their hair and put make up on. I don't want her to feel like she has to cover up in baggy clothes, blend in and disappear.

So I'm giving her a lot of positive reinforcement and I am hoping that I will start to motivate her to where she wants to exercise on her own instead of hating me for making her do it. I've told her that she WILL lose weight, but she is going to have to work a little bit for it. That means, sweating. That means a little sacrifice. And it means consistency. She would probably lose it fairly quickly, because she is used to just sitting around.

Any ideas on how to motivate a teenager to lose weight?? I'm open to any and all suggestions.

Protein powder - why use it

There are TONS of protein powders out there and it can be a tad overwhelming when trying to choose one that best suits your needs.

You have whey isolate, whey concentrate and casein. What are the differences?

Whey protein isolate is generally more expensive because it's higher quality. And it has a higher biological value. It wasn't until probably this year that I even knew what that meant. Biological value is basically how much of the protein is absorbed and used by the body. There is more protein and less fat per serving. They are about 95% protein.

Whey protein concentrates are cheaper. 70-80% protein. And they contain fat and lactose.

Both are quick digesting proteins, which makes them great for pre, during and post workout fuel. As opposed to casein, which is released a lot slower. And this makes it a good pre bed drink, because it will sustain your body for all those hours you go without food. You don’t want your hard-earned muscle being broken down in your sleep.

Most protein powders have a blend of isolate and concentrate. Which is what I have. I also have a casein powder that I take before bed. I'm hoping that in the future, this will help me gain and keep muscle more efficiently.

I have tried a few different brands of protein powders. One of the last ones I ordered was called OnlyProtein, which was super clean and pure and organic, made with whey from grass fed cows. Hormone and antibiotic free. That really appealed to me but I didn't think it had much flavor. There weren't many calories or carbs - depending on your goal, that could be a good or bad thing.

I guess I'm not so obsessed with everything I eat being organic or grass fed (although I know I should be). The main thing I look for is that it doesn't contain anything artificial or nasty. I was looking online for powders and one I clicked on had partially hydrogenated oil in it. Really?? You are going to sell a product to individuals who are looking to better their bodies and you're going to put that crap in it?? I was shocked. And now always read labels.

Now I'm using Prograde's protein powder. It has a great flavor. Lots of protein grams. Sweetened naturally. But I'm having trouble getting my macros just right according to the Nutrient Timing book. So I found a bag of plain, natural whey protein concentrate at the grocery store (to my surprise) and I'm thinking of mixing up my own concoction so I can get my carb to protein ratios right. The powder I am using seems to have too much protein and not enough carbs for my needs.

So, why do you need to consume protein drinks at all? Well, if you want to get the most out of your workouts you need it. A) to fuel your body properly - because if you don't have the energy to give it your all, you are missing out and B) it is quickly absorbed which is essential in that critical window after a workout where your muscles absolutely need to be fed or your are pretty much wasting your time.

Not everybody wants to be a bodybuilder but I don't know many people who wouldn't want to at least decrease their body fat percentage and have firm muscle in it's place. But you aren't going to build muscle if you don't have a positive nitrogen balance. Protein powder is an easy and convenient way to help you achieve just that.

want some cheese with that whine?

I'm skinny [apparently] so it's an ongoing thing around here that my husband likes to crack jokes about it. For instance, when we drove home from Nebraska, at one of the rest areas there was a sign that said "no overweight parking" and he said, "Oh, we can't park here! Sorry, mom." or he'll make a comment about my "big butt" or something. Reverse psychology never worked on me ;)

So this morning, after the alarm went off, we were talking a bit before getting up and I asked him, "Are you still attracted to me now that I'm all skinny and disgusting and have abs?" (if you remember from a previous post, he made it clear that he wasn't into visible abs). And he said, "Of course I am! You are skinny, yes, but you aren't disgusting because of it or because you have abs. You could just use a filler here and there."

And so I said, "I agree. But I can't control where it comes off and gets put on." (fat that is)

I wore my bikini at the pool in Nebraska and although I'm still not where I want to be yet, I am much more confident in my own skin. I can walk around without a cover up in front of him, which is something I almost never do. Sure, I still have some extra padding on my lower half, but I'm so tired of letting it interfere with my life. So I said "screw it!" and just let it all hang out.

I know that I'm making improvements, I can feel it in the way my clothes fit, I just don't understand how that is possible when the tape measure never seems to move. Maybe I'm not accurately measuring in the same spot from week to week. I don't know....

Some days I look in the mirror and think that I am POSITIVE it is getting better. Then others, it seems as though nothing is happening despite how incredibly hard I feel that I am working on it. My progress pictures from week to week look exactly the same.

I get so tired of all the endless e-letters I get (which I signed up for) that tell me how I should be working out and eating to lose fat FAST. Because I do it. All of it. All the time. And it just doesn't seem to work for me. I must be a fluke. A scientific exception. I honestly don't know what more I can do. Be patient seems to be my only option, but even that is wearing thin. It's been 7 weeks since starting my timeline towards goal and I feel almost unchanged.

If I knew what I had to do, I mean, REALLY knew what was going to work, I'd do it. No matter how difficult. The problem is, I seem to do what all the "gurus" suggest yet I feel that I go nowhere.

If they told me, "Do more cardio!!" I'd freakin' do it! As much as I hate it, I'd do it. In fact, I've tried that. Cardio after weight training. I've got to burn off the fat after I mobilize it. Uh huh....

If they told me I had to drink nothing but spinach juice for a month, I'd do that too.

If they told me I had to lift weights twice a day, I'd do it.

I'd literally do whatever it took....if I was SURE it would work.

The problem is, I don't know what will work for me at this point. So I'm doing this program and basically blindly moving forward. Because I refuse to give up. I refuse to let it defeat me. And I am being patient (as told to be) with the hope that my golden ticket will arrive as promised.

I guess I'm just feeling extra whiny today. Sorry. I never seem to have any good advice because I'm so focused on what doesn't seem to be working for me at the moment. I do know one thing though, and that is, after summer, I am going to weight train like a mf! I am going to eat like a mad cow and I'm going to pack on weight. Hopefully mostly muscle. I am just so sick of being skinny. I'm sick of dieting and working my ass off in the gym to stay the same. I don't freakin' care if I can fit into size 2 jeans. Who cares what size jeans you wear anyway!! If you don't LOOK like you train hard, what does it matter???