I've lost it.....completely

Still feeling lost, but slightly better. And I have a wonderful friend to thank for that. You know who you are ;)
I saw this today and instantly thought of you. It fit so perfectly.

I definitely don't love myself lately. But it's not all my fault. I've got some pretty big wounds that just won't heal. I've been putting on a band aid (figuratively speaking, of course), but it's just masking the wound, not fixing the problem. So what's a girl to do? Well, for one thing, thank the Lord above for true friends. The ones that know all of your deepest darkest secrets and still love you more than you deserve to be loved.

And the other thing.....focus on a goal.

I've stepped up my game. BIG time. I'm weight training 4 days per week. Doing MaxT3 6 days a week. And cardio (yes, cardio) 6 days per week. Why? I've gone completely mad, that's why. Seriously though, I'm focusing on uncommon effort. I've started to get too comfortable. Not challenging myself anymore. I was stuck in the "why try" rut. Well, that's not me. I think it's just a February thing. Happens every year around this time.

Anyway, I'm always talking about the importance of changing things up. And I have. I've been doing these MaxT3 workouts that are seriously changing my hormonal response. But then I started missing my regular weight training routine. So I'm adding that back in. AND, I'm going for the wow factor here, I'm adding 5 miles a day. Here's why; I haven't done any running other than a 25 minute HIIT session now and then since last summer. And I've got a couple fun runs this summer, so I figured I better make sure I can still run. My body is SO not used to steady state cardio so I'm going to shock the hell out of it over the next 90 days. Then, I'm going to have a TON of fun at Hard Charge and Run or Dye. And after that, I'm going to drop it like a bad habit ;)

I did 5 miles yesterday. It's not like it was hard or anything. I certainly have the fitness. It's my hips that are trying to rebel. I ignored them and did it again today. And guess what they'll be getting tomorrow? I hate myself.

Yesterday I realized something. At one time, I was pretty into running (in 2007). I got so emaciated, that I swore I would never treat my body so badly again. My biggest mistake was not that I was doing so much running, it was that I wasn't supplementing it with any weight training. I had just gone through a bed ridden pregnancy that robbed me of all my muscle, so there was nothing to hold everything nice and tight as I lost weight.

So this time, I'm doing it Tom Venuto's way. You want me to do cardio? Fine. I can DO fucking cardio. You know why? Cuz it's easy. You can day dream the whole time. No wonder people eat that shit up! What isn't easy, is blasting your muscles with heavy weights first. Then, being sore the next day and doing it all over again, despite the fatigue and the pain. And that is what I call uncommon effort! It's what separates the hardcore freaks from the wannabes.

Plus, since I'm angry with myself a lot lately, it's perfect. Because I can curse myself out the entire time I'm on the treadmill. I basically growl and swear the whole time. I hate it. But I'm open minded and damn it, if any average Joe can slap on a pair of kicks and waddle down the road, I certainly can! We'll see if my theory holds water by June. Uncommon effort!!!

You might not know it because I'm pretty quiet and reserved, but I'm a hardcore bitch.  Didn't your mom ever warn you to watch out for the quiet ones? Guess what? She was right.......