beautiful disaster

Yesterday. My first real disaster since starting Shapeshifter. I decided (since it's a long 4th of July weekend....a big deal for us here) that I was going to stop being so obsessed with everything related to what I'm eating and how much I'm working out for the next 4 days. Sometimes I get so tired of wishing I could have the ice cream everyone else around me is eating, or that we could finally go to that pizza place I've been dying to go to.....because you know what? I can. I can have ice cream, I can have pizza, I can have s'mores by the fire. I can do all those things I'm usually wishing I could do, I just choose not to. But yesterday, I chose to do it. I chose to give in and have a delicious, wonderful, relaxing holiday weekend with my husband and my kids. Four days of bliss. I'm not going to care what I eat, when I eat, how much I eat, I'm just going for it. I'm going to look at it like a vacation. A vacation from stress.

Is this going to set me back? Probably. So much for my goal date. I'll just push it back to August 7th...lol. But, on Wednesday, when my hubs goes back to work and everything seems back to normal, I'll pick up where I left off. There aren't any more holidays or birthdays or anything between now and then that should throw me off track again.

So anyway, yesterday, we were out and about shopping, when my husband suggests we stop at this pizza place (knowing that I can't have carbs, of course). And I said, ok. I think he probably thought he heard me wrong. OK? And then when I said that I thought it would be nice if I had a more relaxed attitude over the long holiday weekend it would be so much more fun, I think he was shouting HALLELUJAH in his head. He really dislikes when I deprive myself of treats and carbs or whatever it is I am depriving myself of that day. We all know that I want to eat it. It's no secret that I love fried greasy food and chocolate cake as much as the next person, but I try so hard to resist - and usually do.

When we went to the pizza place, I was going to order "smarter" like I try to do when I order "bad" food. You know, put as much veg on it as possible. But I thought, you know what, my favorite pizza is actually pepperoni but I never order it because I know it's so greasy and bad for you. But if I'm having pizza, it's going to be pepperoni! I don't think he even knew that I really liked pepperoni.....because I never eat it.

Afterwards, ironically, we stopped at a store so I could get more CLA (haha), then we hit an ice cream parlor.....where I had TWO scoops. That's right. Bison crunch and strawberry cheesecake. To. Die. For. Good.

Later that evening, we packed a picnic lunch (complete with a candy bar for each of us and chips) and took a blanket to Island Park downtown, where there are many tall shade trees and lots of grassy area to lay, and had a wonderful picnic dinner. Then the kids played at the playground and we went home to have a fire outside and eat s'mores. It was a perfect day. Total bliss. And I was happy.

I said goodbye to guilt and was able to just have an enjoyable day in the sunshine with my family and enjoy the same treats as they do. For once, I wasn't the odd man out. It felt so wonderful.