Hanna and I are deep into low carb territory. I took a peak at what our meal plan is like for the next 5 weeks and I'm scared. There is one thing in particular that scares me (well two when you count all the low carb days). But I won't share what that is until the day comes.

So far, low carb hasn't bothered us too bad. And by low carb, we are actually only eating veggies for carbs. No fruit, no yogurt, no bread, no fun! Supposedly we are training our bodies to become more efficient at burning stored fat this way. Cool! Maybe that is what finally needs to be done to attack those damn saddlebags!

I have to admit, my lack of patience is creeping in. It's being really sneaky about it too. Even though I'm following the diet restrictions depending on the day and doing the workouts, I am not seeing changes to my body yet (well of course not, it's barely been a week and a half!), but I am all about instant gratification, you know. I am impatient. And so when I don't notice improvement fast enough, that doubt starts to rear it's ugly head. I actually found myself thinking yesterday that there is no way this is going to work for me. There is no way that in 34 more days, I will achieve what I am after.

I had to stop myself. I literally said "stop!" out loud, and shook it off. It is really hard to change those negative habits. I guess the one thing that has kept me from my ultimate goal all this time is my own mind! I sabotage myself with these stupid thoughts of failure, even when I know I'm on the right track. How can this not work??!! I am eating better than ever! Trying super hard! It's going to work! I need that faith!

I have had a few minor slip ups, of course. Nothing that has erased all hope and effort though. A couple nights ago I went out dancing with my niece and had some shots. Probably not the best idea on this plan, but I probably danced it off. Three hours of dancing. I kid you not. But only getting 5 hours of sleep that night left me super tired the next day. While I was productive in the morning, I crashed and burned in the afternoon and pretty much did nothing at all the rest of the day.

And there was one evening during the first week where I was super hungry. A hollow leg I needed to fill. I basically had 3 or 4 bed time snacks, instead of just one. Even though they were considered "allowed foods", I over ate and that means extra calories.

Life happens. I am trying to stay focused on my goal though. I realize now that it is not going to be easy. It's going to suck and it's going to leave me wishing I wasn't trying to do this because I just want to eat pizza. And it's going to challenge me the same as it always does when I go hardcore into clean eating. But if I don't get through this, my dream will never come true. It's only 33 more days. Then I can reward myself with a cheat! And [hopefully] be happy enough with my results that all there will be left to do is just maintain. For me, maintaining will be the easy part.

Today I am trying a new workout (they call it an afterburner). I am very excited about it. I'll let you know how it goes. Two days ago, I did 15 rounds of the metabolic circuit and I was pouring sweat. I looked like I just got out of the shower when I was done, that's how wet with sweat I was! I LOVE that!