Thursday, January 2, 2014

About me

What up?! Yeah, I know. It's been a while. HAPPY 2014! We made it another year! Whoop!

What's with the odd photo grid you ask? Here is what I felt represented me yesterday:
1) my favorite healthy food - cabbage, broccoli, kale salad. Can't get enough of it!
2) despite feeling like I'm getting nowhere at times with my body goals, I catch glimpses of myself once in a while and feel like telling myself "What the heck am I complaining about?? My body could be a LOT worse! I look damn good!" ...and then I have to photograph myself to prove it :)
3) I've been sick. AGAIN!!! Ugh, this has been a bad fall/winter for me. Sinus infection #2. And it's kicking my ass!
4) I am learning self love. Basking in the sunshine even on the coldest of days....I am ok with who I am and proud of how far I've come despite some challenges. We all face our own challenges and demons daily - I've accepted mine and roll with it.

I've finished my fitness "support group" that I was a part of in December. Although I didn't manage to change a whole lot, I definitely feel a huge improvement in the way I think about everything. I have really been lucky this year as far as meeting the right people. Through dance and other areas of fitness I have made incredible friendships in 2013. So despite the last year being a bit rocky, it definitely had some of the best upsides as well!

One of my sweet friends told me once that even though I felt bad a lot on the inside, I never lost my sparkle. That's something that I'll never forget! Even when we struggle, we shine! And now that things are immensely better, I feel even shinier ;)

The purpose of the photo grid is, well....I have a couple reasons for doing it. I've learned that we are so different in what we do and how we are feeling from day to day, it's important to document it. I want to post how I'm feeling, how I'm eating, how I'm training...and whatever else I feel like. It's like getting the day out and wiping the slate clean for tomorrow. Each sunrise is a rebirth. A chance to start over. A move closer to our goal. Also, I am going to TRY to do the 365 photo challenge this year (I've failed at this every year). All it is basically is to just take a photo of something every day. Should be easy, especially for me, one would think. BUT....ah life.

And a mini challenge INSIDE that challenge is a month of "specific" photos. Yesterday was "selfie". So I took a few ;) I typically don't like to take selfies. I honestly don't enjoy being in front of the camera at all. But, for one day, I sucked it up!

Here is one (of the many) challenges out there (in case you choose to try one):

I like this one because it's a "get to know you" kind of thing. So since I'm a day behind, here are numbers 1 & 2:
#1. See photo above. And 10 facts - here we go:
1) I am super incredibly highly mega sensitive - I can cry over just about anything, it doesn't have to be sad.
2) I have an addictive personality.
3) I had a seriously huge night terror/panic attack that lasted close to 8 hours. I was literally afraid to fall asleep for almost a year. Even walking into my bedroom was hard for months afterwards. It's been over two years and I still suffer from small flashback attacks.
4) I have social anxiety - which I've now learned to control (without alcohol or medication).
5) I used to drink a lot in my 20's simply because of this anxiety. It helped me lose that fear.
6) I got my first tattoo when I was 18. I hid it from my parents. I also hid my pierced ear cartilage from my dad because I was afraid he would think it was too "wild" and make me take it out.
7) I hid my first pregnancy from my family even though I was 22, because I wasn't married yet. They didn't know about it until I was 6 months along and ended up in the hospital with early contractions.
8) Me and pregnancy don't get along. I've had problems with all of them. Lost one.
9) I have a degree in computer programming.
10) I am a certified fitness instructor, a graphic designer, a photographer and a mixologist ;)

And #2.
My relationship status is MARRIED and I would describe it right now as "warmer".