Tuesday, October 29, 2013

It's enough

Remember a few weeks back, that photo of Maria King and her 3 small children that said, "What's your excuse?" that ignited a whirlwind of feedback - good and bad?

My first reaction to that photo was good for her! WOW! We need to get proof out there that through determination and hard work, we mom's aren't destined to hang up the bikini forever. Too many women use excuses not to get back into shape - it just doesn't run in the family, I don't have time, etc. And she called us on it. We don't make ourselves a priority. And we really do need to take care of ourselves if we are going to properly care for our families. How else are we going to have energy to keep up with those little ones?

I know what it takes to get back into shape after baby. She only had 35 pounds to lose. I had 60! And when it was all said and done, I lost a total of 71 pounds! I had a baby and 2 other younger children which made working out and "dieting" a bit of a juggle, but I made it happen. The one thing I didn't have was a job outside the home.

And lets be honest, that made it a hell of a lot easier.

Because if I had a job to get to, chances are the LAST thing I'd want to do after waking up multiple times during the night with a baby, would be to wake up at 4am to get my workout in. Nope, I could wait until 11:00 am if I wanted, when the baby would go down for a nap, then head downstairs and get er done! In that sense, I had it easy. So for me to preach to everyone else the "no excuses" line, would be a little bit hypocritical. I still did the work, which was not easy, I just had a bit of a time advantage.

I read a response article recently, written very well by a woman named Saralyn Ward. She was obviously on Maria's side but thought she should change the tag line. She didn't believe "What's your excuse?" was what she should have chosen. I can see her point. She said, "I understand your well-intentioned point, but the last thing any of us mommies needs is a second helping of guilt or shame."

I loved that line.

Because it's absolutely the truth. Aren't we all just a little too hard on ourselves? We women can be our own worst enemy. We pick apart our every flaw and strive for a perfection that we will never attain. We feel shame for not being our sexier pre-mommy selves and we feel guilt for not making it happen as quickly (or at all) like so-and-so did. We compare ourselves to others and that is the worst thing we can possibly do. It can destroy the motivation we really need to get ourselves moving in the right direction.

And thanks to Facebook, we are bombarded by people who must post every freaking workout they do. Every. Single. One. If it's not humorous or entertaining in any way, it's just cluttering up my news feed. Thankfully we are allowed to filter what we see and don't see in our feeds and I have taken full advantage of this feature ;)

I'm not sure if the point is to motivate people or if it's the need for validation. Either way, I think it works negatively.

I still make time to take care of my body, but I have other priorities. It's easy to make yourself #1 priority when you are home all day like I was. I definitely juggle home life with work life and my fit life now. Being a fitness instructor, I have opportunities to get workouts in that I might not have otherwise done. AND get paid for it! You workout a LOT harder when you teach too. That is a real positive for me. However, when it comes to the workouts that I feel really "count" - for me it's weight lifting - that will tend to get put on the back burner over everything else (boo). Especially now that my babies' childhood days are slipping away faster than I'd like. But my time with them is priority now.

I would LOVE to look like Maria King. And what if I did? What if YOU did? Just let that sink in. If you had her body in all it's perfect glory, what would it change? Would it make your marriage better? Would it make your kids love you more? Would you have more friends?

When I had my best body ever, those were some of the loneliest days of my life. You tend to drive everyone around you crazy with your fitness obsession because (NEWSFLASH) not everyone is as into it as you and truth be told, just get sick of hearing about it. They may be nice about it, and would probably never tell you to shut the hell up already, but chances are, they are thinking it some days! I'm NOT saying that you shouldn't strive for greatness, or that you shouldn't go after a goal to be fit and have a healthy body. But don't put too much pressure on yourself to fit into your idea of a perfect body (or anyone else's idea for that matter). Don't compare yourself to anyone else. Strive for happiness and balance. Not perfection.

Moms, we are all doing what we can with what we have. And that is enough.




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