This is my eldest daughter - Hanna.
Isn't she beautiful?!
I try to tell her that as often as I can, because I don't think she feels beautiful.
Just the other day she broke down because she was feeling bad about herself. We had just gotten back from our Nebraska trip and she was getting ready for school and just broke down.
She was reluctant to talk about it but eventually I was able to get it out of her.
She feels bad about her body.
Her jeans are all getting snug and her shirts have to be baggy or she won't wear them. I just took her shopping to get her new jeans (she picks skinny jeans, of course, 3 pair) and now she doesn't want to wear them. She feels insecure in them.
I asked her why she always picks out skinny jeans when she never wants to wear them and she never really gave me an answer. But I think that she just wants to be like everyone else. She wants to wear what other kids wear. Which I can totally understand.
When we were in Nebraska for the confirmation, there were a few girls her age there. And they were all skinny and wearing skinny jeans. We happened to pack a brand new pair of skinnies for Hanna to wear to church that Sunday but she refused. I mean, sat on the bed in her underwear REFUSING to wear them. I had no idea what the problem was since we just bought them and she loves them (they are a vibrant bright blue, really cute).
I did finally put 2 and 2 together and realized it was because she didn't want to feel like the "fat" girl at the party. My heart just sank. I cry every time I think of the pain she feels because of her body and how she is always trying to hide it. That is my baby! How could I let this happen to her??
She is short. She hates it. So it doesn't make things better to be overweight AND short. It's hard to find clothes that fit her. Pants are almost impossible to find. And she is super picky about shirts. Usually, she only wears sweatshirts so she can hide her belly but now that it's getting warmer, she is forced to wear something lighter. T-shirts have to have longer sleeves (no cap sleeves). No v-necks, in fact, it has to sit really close to her neck or she won't wear it. Nothing fancy or pretty. She tells me, "you just have to get over the fact that I'm not a girly girl.". But I'm sure it has a lot to do with body image.
Being an avid exerciser and lover of nutrition, it seems odd to me that I would have let her weight issue slide for so long. But it's so hard just to motivate myself at times and it's even harder to get her to want to work out and not eat so much. She wants to lose weight, she wants me to help her, but when it comes down to it, she would rather just eat what she wants and not move.
It's such a frustrating situation. I love her so much and want her to be happy with herself, yet I hate having to deprive her of foods the rest of the family eats. It just doesn't seem fair for a child to have to deal with being overweight. She should get to eat chips and ice cream and french fries without gaining an ounce, like I did growing up.
Being an active person, you would think that would rub off on my children. But maybe I started too late in the game for Hanna. My other two children show an interest in health an fitness, but I've been a fitness nut as long as they can remember. During Hanna's early years, I wasn't big on health.
I didn't want this to be a depressing post. But I am sort of bumming myself out. Like I said, my heart breaks for Hanna. I want her to be happy with the way she looks. I want her to be like other teenage girls who like to curl their hair and put make up on. I don't want her to feel like she has to cover up in baggy clothes, blend in and disappear.
So I'm giving her a lot of positive reinforcement and I am hoping that I will start to motivate her to where she wants to exercise on her own instead of hating me for making her do it. I've told her that she WILL lose weight, but she is going to have to work a little bit for it. That means, sweating. That means a little sacrifice. And it means consistency. She would probably lose it fairly quickly, because she is used to just sitting around.
Any ideas on how to motivate a teenager to lose weight?? I'm open to any and all suggestions.
