About me

What up?! Yeah, I know. It's been a while. HAPPY 2014! We made it another year! Whoop!

What's with the odd photo grid you ask? Here is what I felt represented me yesterday:
1) my favorite healthy food - cabbage, broccoli, kale salad. Can't get enough of it!
2) despite feeling like I'm getting nowhere at times with my body goals, I catch glimpses of myself once in a while and feel like telling myself "What the heck am I complaining about?? My body could be a LOT worse! I look damn good!" ...and then I have to photograph myself to prove it :)
3) I've been sick. AGAIN!!! Ugh, this has been a bad fall/winter for me. Sinus infection #2. And it's kicking my ass!
4) I am learning self love. Basking in the sunshine even on the coldest of days....I am ok with who I am and proud of how far I've come despite some challenges. We all face our own challenges and demons daily - I've accepted mine and roll with it.

I've finished my fitness "support group" that I was a part of in December. Although I didn't manage to change a whole lot, I definitely feel a huge improvement in the way I think about everything. I have really been lucky this year as far as meeting the right people. Through dance and other areas of fitness I have made incredible friendships in 2013. So despite the last year being a bit rocky, it definitely had some of the best upsides as well!

One of my sweet friends told me once that even though I felt bad a lot on the inside, I never lost my sparkle. That's something that I'll never forget! Even when we struggle, we shine! And now that things are immensely better, I feel even shinier ;)

The purpose of the photo grid is, well....I have a couple reasons for doing it. I've learned that we are so different in what we do and how we are feeling from day to day, it's important to document it. I want to post how I'm feeling, how I'm eating, how I'm training...and whatever else I feel like. It's like getting the day out and wiping the slate clean for tomorrow. Each sunrise is a rebirth. A chance to start over. A move closer to our goal. Also, I am going to TRY to do the 365 photo challenge this year (I've failed at this every year). All it is basically is to just take a photo of something every day. Should be easy, especially for me, one would think. BUT....ah life.

And a mini challenge INSIDE that challenge is a month of "specific" photos. Yesterday was "selfie". So I took a few ;) I typically don't like to take selfies. I honestly don't enjoy being in front of the camera at all. But, for one day, I sucked it up!

Here is one (of the many) challenges out there (in case you choose to try one):

I like this one because it's a "get to know you" kind of thing. So since I'm a day behind, here are numbers 1 & 2:
#1. See photo above. And 10 facts - here we go:
1) I am super incredibly highly mega sensitive - I can cry over just about anything, it doesn't have to be sad.
2) I have an addictive personality.
3) I had a seriously huge night terror/panic attack that lasted close to 8 hours. I was literally afraid to fall asleep for almost a year. Even walking into my bedroom was hard for months afterwards. It's been over two years and I still suffer from small flashback attacks.
4) I have social anxiety - which I've now learned to control (without alcohol or medication).
5) I used to drink a lot in my 20's simply because of this anxiety. It helped me lose that fear.
6) I got my first tattoo when I was 18. I hid it from my parents. I also hid my pierced ear cartilage from my dad because I was afraid he would think it was too "wild" and make me take it out.
7) I hid my first pregnancy from my family even though I was 22, because I wasn't married yet. They didn't know about it until I was 6 months along and ended up in the hospital with early contractions.
8) Me and pregnancy don't get along. I've had problems with all of them. Lost one.
9) I have a degree in computer programming.
10) I am a certified fitness instructor, a graphic designer, a photographer and a mixologist ;)

And #2.
My relationship status is MARRIED and I would describe it right now as "warmer".

XaBeat

Ever wonder what this XaBeat class that I'm always talking about is? Watch this video!

Valley News Live - KVLY/KXJB - Fargo/Grand Forks

Leia and Kim did a fabulous job explaining some high points of the class. It's a very supportive, encouraging environment. Women empowering women and inspiring them. It's so much bigger than just a workout. And you'll never know unless you just experience it for yourself. Becoming an instructor, or inspirator, was one of the best decisions I've ever made. It just fits. I feel like I'm doing what I was meant to do. This class has literally changed my life. I've met SO many wonderful women and as a result have new friendships that I will treasure forever! Case and point, Leia is one of those women. She has been such a source of positive energy and support in my life and I thank God for letting our paths cross. Every single woman in that class has a story, a reason for being there. And they keep going because XaBeat is a release. It's an escape. We are not only doing something for our physical health, but our mental health as well. And I'm PROUD to be a part of this "new craze" ;)

here was my day...

And for my workout: 50 minute walk around the track at the gym, 30 minute personal training (weights)
Extra Activity: snow blow and shovel driveway for 1 hour 15 minutes

BOOM!

December off to a GREAT start!

I've joined a group. It's a small group of women, who want to get healthier and more fit called "Tis the season to get ripped!". Basically it's a 30 day challenge through the month of December (yes, through Christmas) to eat clean, ditch the processed junk and workout more.

To succeed at a fitness goal you need:
*motivation
*accountability
*support
*determination
*consistency
...and I'm sure you could think of a few more, but these are what sticks out in my mind.

All these are a big deal to me. And through this group, I get the SUPPORT that I've never, ever gotten before. In the past, I've just been criticized and beaten down for my goals. Not here! I've never felt such real honest support and love from women, most of whom I've never met!

I now have the ACCOUNTABILITY that I so need. We have to take pictures of our meals and post a photo grid of the day describing what we ate and what we did for exercise. I have to say that already this has helped me immensely. Knowing that others are going to see what I ate has really pushed me to eat better.

I have been lacking in the MOTIVATION department for quite a long while now, but just hearing these women talk about their goals and how bad they want it, and seeing the workouts and healthy food that they've been eating and how hard they are working toward a goal that really means something to them, is so very motivating to me! I've always felt that it isn't really the fittest people that motivate me. Of course all the pro fitness models and competitors out there motivate me, but it's the people who struggle, the people that actually have weight to lose and work hard to do it that really fire me up.

CONSISTENCY. I think this one goes hand in hand with accountability. Because I have to post my workouts, I need to be consistent. Once I get my Fitbit Force, I'll be able to track my activity much easier than I have in the past. It will track my activity and calories burned, then automatically sync to my computer. I'll be able to keep track with ease! I've ordered it so I am anxiously awaiting it's arrival!!

I've definitely got the DETERMINATION. If not, I would have given up long ago. That's one thing I've got going for me.

But so far, this group has been just what I needed. Very helpful. The woman who put it together is a BeachBody coach and is a very good motivator. I'm thinking that down the road, (if I'm ever not crazy busy) I would like to sign up to be a coach too. Right now, I'm just too busy and adding one more thing to my plate wouldn't be smart. However, it's never very far from my mind. See, I've always known that the fitness industry was my passion. It's no surprise how I've gravitated to all things related to health and fitness. I am still very passionate about my photography business as well, but it's not something that keeps me active.

So here is an example of a photo grid like the ones we must post. Today, I had the most FABULOUS kale and cabbage salad! Before, I never got excited about salad, but this was incredible. The one tip that really helped me was to chop up a bunch of kale and red cabbage and put it in a plastic container in the fridge so that it's always ready to go. I just throw a bunch on a plate, add in some cucumber, tomatoes, a little feta cheese and avocado and done! Then I make my famous home made healthy ranch to dunk it in. And some organic quinoa flakes made into a hot cereal. YUM!!!!! Best lunch I've had in a looooooong time!!

And kale is pretty much the best food you can put into your body. A SUPER super food! So I'm going to have more with my salmon tonight! I LOVE love love love love getting excited about eating healthy again. So happy! It's so nice to have that passion back, that energy, that spark!

True that!!

girls who lift? HOT!

http://www.xplosivegrowth.com/2012/09/20/girls-get-your-guns-why-women-should-lift-weights/

Read from the link above about why us women should lift weights.

We all know that any exercise is better than no exercise. Do yourself a favor and just do something! Ok, so you've started where pretty much everyone starts.....the cardio machines. But now that you've got some training under your belt, and you have probably shed some weight, you are going to want to start doing something that actually morphs you into that super fit, super hot body you're after - it's time to bring out the iron! If you want strong defined arms, a great butt and a hot pair of legs, cardio alone won't get you there. You need to lift to change the shape of your body. But be prepared to work HARD. The reason these ladies look as good as they do is because they train harder than you.

Lifting weights and still not changing? Check your diet! It's true, if you lift weights consistently, you can pretty much eat whatever you want (at least for me that is the case), but if you are really serious about making some significant changes to your body composition, diet has to tighten up. A lot.

Girls that lift are HOT. Plain and simple. But you knew this already, didn't you ;)

Flu shots

Today is my first day of personal training. It would have been Monday but I was home with a sick little girl. She is home again today but thankfully Gram is able to stay home with her so I didn't need to miss work or training. I felt bad leaving her this morning though. She cried. You know how when you are sick, no one is quite like mom? I remember feeling that way, and still do actually. Something special in a mother's unconditional love for her child.

I'm really excited to get into serious weight lifting again. I'm done with boot camp (thank heavens). I can't wait to build up my shoulders again. They aren't nearly as nice as they once were. Although when I'm teaching, I can see how muscular my arms still are, and I get compliments all the time on them, so it could really be a lot worse. You can certainly tell who just "works out" and who lifts weights ;)

I want you to read an article. Opinions are encouraged. It's about the flu shot. Some people are absolutely certain the flu shot is necessary. I'm not one of those people. You'll never see me first in line at the clinic to get one. And this article only solidifies my beliefs even more.

http://www.healthsprout.com/johns-hopkins-scientist-slams-flu-vaccine/

This is one of those things that will always have strong opposing sides to it. We are pushed to get the flu shot because we've been told it's good, it's necessary, it works. Just like it seems that we can so easily get a prescription for EVERYTHING. You have an little ache or a pain - take a pill! There's a pill for anything that ails you. Natural remedies (including eating right and exercising), it seems, are never the first form of action. I think it all comes down to the drug companies who don't really have your best interest in mind, only their bottom line . Of COURSE they're going to tell you that you need it! There are plenty of circumstances that require medications, but generally speaking, I think we are far too hasty to get it.

Do you know, I mean really know, what's in that flu shot you are taking and giving your kids?? Read the article and find out.

It's enough

Remember a few weeks back, that photo of Maria King and her 3 small children that said, "What's your excuse?" that ignited a whirlwind of feedback - good and bad?

My first reaction to that photo was good for her! WOW! We need to get proof out there that through determination and hard work, we mom's aren't destined to hang up the bikini forever. Too many women use excuses not to get back into shape - it just doesn't run in the family, I don't have time, etc. And she called us on it. We don't make ourselves a priority. And we really do need to take care of ourselves if we are going to properly care for our families. How else are we going to have energy to keep up with those little ones?

I know what it takes to get back into shape after baby. She only had 35 pounds to lose. I had 60! And when it was all said and done, I lost a total of 71 pounds! I had a baby and 2 other younger children which made working out and "dieting" a bit of a juggle, but I made it happen. The one thing I didn't have was a job outside the home.

And lets be honest, that made it a hell of a lot easier.

Because if I had a job to get to, chances are the LAST thing I'd want to do after waking up multiple times during the night with a baby, would be to wake up at 4am to get my workout in. Nope, I could wait until 11:00 am if I wanted, when the baby would go down for a nap, then head downstairs and get er done! In that sense, I had it easy. So for me to preach to everyone else the "no excuses" line, would be a little bit hypocritical. I still did the work, which was not easy, I just had a bit of a time advantage.

I read a response article recently, written very well by a woman named Saralyn Ward. She was obviously on Maria's side but thought she should change the tag line. She didn't believe "What's your excuse?" was what she should have chosen. I can see her point. She said, "I understand your well-intentioned point, but the last thing any of us mommies needs is a second helping of guilt or shame."

I loved that line.

Because it's absolutely the truth. Aren't we all just a little too hard on ourselves? We women can be our own worst enemy. We pick apart our every flaw and strive for a perfection that we will never attain. We feel shame for not being our sexier pre-mommy selves and we feel guilt for not making it happen as quickly (or at all) like so-and-so did. We compare ourselves to others and that is the worst thing we can possibly do. It can destroy the motivation we really need to get ourselves moving in the right direction.

And thanks to Facebook, we are bombarded by people who must post every freaking workout they do. Every. Single. One. If it's not humorous or entertaining in any way, it's just cluttering up my news feed. Thankfully we are allowed to filter what we see and don't see in our feeds and I have taken full advantage of this feature ;)

I'm not sure if the point is to motivate people or if it's the need for validation. Either way, I think it works negatively.

I still make time to take care of my body, but I have other priorities. It's easy to make yourself #1 priority when you are home all day like I was. I definitely juggle home life with work life and my fit life now. Being a fitness instructor, I have opportunities to get workouts in that I might not have otherwise done. AND get paid for it! You workout a LOT harder when you teach too. That is a real positive for me. However, when it comes to the workouts that I feel really "count" - for me it's weight lifting - that will tend to get put on the back burner over everything else (boo). Especially now that my babies' childhood days are slipping away faster than I'd like. But my time with them is priority now.

I would LOVE to look like Maria King. And what if I did? What if YOU did? Just let that sink in. If you had her body in all it's perfect glory, what would it change? Would it make your marriage better? Would it make your kids love you more? Would you have more friends?

When I had my best body ever, those were some of the loneliest days of my life. You tend to drive everyone around you crazy with your fitness obsession because (NEWSFLASH) not everyone is as into it as you and truth be told, just get sick of hearing about it. They may be nice about it, and would probably never tell you to shut the hell up already, but chances are, they are thinking it some days! I'm NOT saying that you shouldn't strive for greatness, or that you shouldn't go after a goal to be fit and have a healthy body. But don't put too much pressure on yourself to fit into your idea of a perfect body (or anyone else's idea for that matter). Don't compare yourself to anyone else. Strive for happiness and balance. Not perfection.

Moms, we are all doing what we can with what we have. And that is enough.