Strange

I'm not sure what is going on. I measured myself at the beginning of the week, SURE that I was going to see improvement from the week before with all the serious workouts and clean eating, but the tape measure was NOT my friend that day. It seemed as though I didn't budge, and almost as if I'd lost headway.

How could this BE?????

I lost it. I admit it. I bawled like a baby for 10 minutes. I mean, wet snotty bawling. I cursed the universe. I asked why. "It's not fair"...I just kept repeating that as I stood there in my underwear, weeping.

Now here is the strange part. My pants, the ones that used to be tight in the thighs, are lose. My husband even commented this morning about how baggy they were. I said, "yeah, these used to be uncomfortably tight". Then I thought, "I wonder...."

After he went to work I went though my closet trying on other pants. I've had a pair of jeans that have been tight through the hips and thighs since before we moved to Denmark 3 years ago. But I slid them on with ease. And then I celebrated. I did a happy dance.

I remembered something I read, "There is perfect compensation in the universe. Everything you put in through effort, you will take out in rewards." - Tom Venuto

My hard work will pay off. My body has no other option but to change. I absolutely KNOW I'm working out right. I absolutely KNOW I'm eating clean. I even passed up dessert at my sister's 50th birthday dinner when everyone else at the table had a delicious treat. I didn't even want it.

I'm not sure what is going on with my system of measuring my body but I'm obviously not doing a very good job at consistently measuring in the same spots. The way my pants fit doesn't lie. The point is, I need to have faith. I know what I'm doing is going to get me where I want to be. I need patience and faith. The universe isn't against me. If other people can achieve it, so can I. I will never give up.

Last night, I was talking to my husband about how hard it is to get the amount of protein I need into a day. I'm supposed to be eating somewhere between 25-30 grams of protein with every meal. I eat 5 meals a day; 3 "meals" and 2 "snacks", although they all contain around the same calorie content. So I have been calculating and writing everything down and making sure I'm getting the amount I need, and my husband laughs at me and asks, "I don't understand why you are doing this to yourself". As if I'm torturing myself. And I say, "you won't be laughing when I'm all hot". And he laughs again, even louder. I don't get why he laughs at that, but it just makes me want it even more! I'm going to prove all the naysayers and unbelievers wrong. I am going to do it! I will walk tall and proud when I've got a sculpted, fit body. And I will say, "See? I told you I could do it!" And when everyone at the beach is gawking at my hot, sexy body, I'll be the one laughing!!