Wednesday, April 25, 2012

the skinny

I woke up feeling rail thin today. It just happens to be the part of my cycle where I am the least bloated and so I look really lean. Actually, lean is too good of a word. Because when I think of a "lean" person, I think muscular with no fat. What I should say is too skinny. Blech, I hate it! Scale said 110 again. Sigh.....

Yet, I have to remain in a lower calorie range so that I can get rid of the lower body fat. It's such a hard thing for me to wrap my mind around. Looking in the mirror, thinking I look WAY too thin, yet having to continue to diet all because my body is holding onto thigh fat for dear life!

I'm actually looking forward to summer's end so I can focus on building muscle again. I'm lifting heavy enough to maintain right now because my calories are so low, but there's no way I'm adding muscle.

The other day when I said my legs measured bigger, I remember something I read. (of course I'm going to quote a book....what else?) In this particular book I read by a woman named Sue Heintze, she said that there would be a stage during fat loss where you would actually feel squishier and softer. Supposedly, the "squishy" feeling is a good thing because it means that the fatty deposits are shifting. I don't know the science of it all, but I'm trying to trust her! She also mentions that your body won't touch the "stubborn" fat until ALL the other fat is gone. (which is why I will look like a skeleton with big hips for a while) This has something to do with the effectiveness of fat mobilization. And that depends on the type of receptors in the fat cells. She states that research has shown the "stubborn fat" - which in women tend to be the butt, hip and thigh area - has more of the bad receptors, which is why it is so difficult to lose it.

I'm trying to follow the advice that I've taken from the Nutrient Timing book. I'm trying to keep my calorie intake to 1415 a day now! That just seems ridiculously low, especially considering that I have to factor my pre-workout drink, post-workout drink & banana and evening caesin drink into the total calories! And that can be almost 500 calories right there! But I HAVE to fuel my body for training and recovery. It is essential to my success.

I am starting to get used to it now I guess. I just want to start seeing some positive changes from all the time I've spent in the gym and all the researching I've done. I've put in a lot of time on this because I'm on my own. I don't have anyone helping me or coaching me. I'm my own personal trainer, nutritionist and researcher. 

I shouldn't say that I don't notice any positive changes, because I do. I can see little things that others wouldn't notice. I can feel that my legs are firmer. I can even feel some hamstrings now. And I have seen a lot of positive things happening in my glutes. Even though the original problem still remains, I can see small improvements slooooowly happening. I'm in it forever. Whether it happens this year, next year or 5 years from now, I'm never going to quit until I get what I want. I BELIEVE in the law of attraction. I BELIEVE that everything I do moves me closer to my goal. I BELIEVE that it is impossible to fail. I BELIEVE I can do it, and I will.




2 comments:

Amanda said...

i think you look fantastic! i went on to a web site of Jon Davie who is a renouned bodybuilder trainer in Aus and his fees are reasonable - why dont you check him out just to get a feel of it. http://www.prepared2win.com.au/pricing.php
my gym wouldnt be able to help me out either so i would have to go to a specialist. im going to try and scan the bodybuilding diet in oxygen i was telling you about (funnily enough it was done by Jon Davie!!) and maybe I could email it to you. when you look at it its not as bad as you would imagine - food for thought maybe? (no pun intended).
Anyway im coming out of a crap time of being sick - since february and unfortunately have put on 5kg but im not dwelling on that im just concentrating on geting back into it. i have signed up for a 12 week challenge (only in aussie) just to keep the interest and motivation up and be part of the challenge community forum - the trainers answers everyones public questions and you get some great advice.
i'll let you know if i can email that bodybuilding diet xx

Charlotte said...

thanks, Amanda! I'd appreciate taking a look at that!