Don't shut down

Yesterday I was starting to feel like I was losing momentum. Uh Oh. How could I let this happen? It's not even the end of two weeks. I don't have the urge to cheat and scarf down a whole pie or anything like that. It's more my impatient nature acting up again. I really have to stop looking in the mirror, that's all it is.

I've read that positive thoughts are good. (well duh, right) No, I mean, you can actually "think" yourself thin. It's the law of attraction. Apparently, we are supposed to write down affirmations and say them everyday. A good one for me would be "My legs are muscular and toned". You are supposed to think of something you want, and say it as though you already have it. I have a problem remembering to do this. Instead, I have the habit of standing in front of the mirror, in my underwear, and pick myself apart. "I'm dimply here, and there, and I could use a little less jiggle here, and I still have a saggy butt...." and things of that nature. I know it's wrong. I don't know why I feel the need to do it. But I can't stop myself. Although I'm trying REEEEEALLY hard to. Honest I am. I am avoiding mirrors at all cost these days. And, if I have a negative thought I quickly replace it with a couple positive ones. I sometimes wonder if I will truly be happy with myself even after I reach my goal. Honestly, I think I will.

But anyway, sometimes the reading I do is a buzz-kill also. And I started reading things on the net the other night and it really bummed me out. It got me to wondering if there really is anything I can do to fix what I think is so wrong with my body. There are a lot of people like me, wondering what to do, that get answers like, "Just accept yourself the way you are". Well, that's all fine and dandy but is it so wrong to want more? To try and be better? The one thing I really wish I knew was, will I ever get there? Because if I knew that the answer truly was NO, I wouldn't work myself so hard. Cuz, darn it, it's exhausting sometimes!

BUT, (see, this post isn't going to be a completely negative - there's a BUT) I was on the treadmill tonight, even though I was tired and a little stressed out, and I thought to myself "you know, even though 45 minutes on the treadmill isn't going to burn a lot of calories, even if it's only 100, it's still 100. And if I keep doing this 5 nights a week, that's 500 extra calories that I otherwise wouldn't have burned up in a week!" Now, on top of this brisk walking I'm doing in the evenings, I'm still weight training 4 times per week and doing 40 minutes of cardio 3 times per week, AND I'm carb cycling. If I don't lose some fat here, something is wrong with the universe!! Because before, I was just weight training 3 times per week and eating what I wanted (well, pretty much) and I was able to maintain. So, factoring in all this extra stuff, the results I'm after have GOT to be on the way.

It's some sort of scientific law....or something. ;)