Went to the gym today. As I was writing my workout for the day in my little book, I noticed that my last entry was December 19th. Seriously? Has it been that long since I've worked out??
Yes, it has.
I took a couple of weeks off. Much needed. It was never my intention to take last week off, but I couldn't really help it. My girls were also reminding me last night, as we got their backpacks ready for school again, of all the things I said we would do and didn't over the vacation. I felt so bad. I just tried to explain that panic disorder sort of took over my life the past week and I would much rather have done all those fun things I said we would do.
However, I'm slowly moving past that. Although I can feel that I am not 100% better from my last attack, I can at least function and do everyday chores again. As I said, I went to the gym. Did the required workout for Day 2 of the extreme 25 day diet. Oh, and I'm fasting today. It's 11:00am and so far it hasn't bothered me one bit. I'm going to keep myself busy today, that will help forgetting about my empty belly as well as keep me from thinking about anxiety.
Tomorrow I see the doctor and hopefully he will put me on some medicine that will help. It's been such a change for me to switch gears so drastically. Usually, I'm thinking about fitness and health 24/7 and over the past week, all I could think about was not having another panic attack. I didn't care what I ate (because I could barely eat anyway), I didn't care about exercise (because walking up the stairs took my breath away), I just cared about getting better. And I have slowly gotten better. But I still have a long way to go.
1 comment:
oh charlotte you poor thing! its horrible to battle something like that. i went through a bout of depression 4 years ago when ago when our 8yo daughter suddenly almost died and my family did not support/care for me at all. with our daughter recovering, me living with her in hospital and dealing with my family was just too much. when we came home from hospital to the real world all i did was cry and was scared to think i couldnt control it. i really feel for you charlotte. i hope you get some meds that are suitable and you feel comfortable taking. talk to me any time - i have been through a lot in my life and understand a lot of feelings xx. dont feel too guilty if you miss exercise - just keep up 100% clean eating or the fasting diet.
work out that plan and good luck at the doctors. thinking of you xx
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