progress!

I haven't posted anything in a few days and I thought I better get after it if I want to keep the few (but awesome) readers I have =)

I know that no one reads this blog because I'm a good writer, but I'm hoping a few read because sometimes it's nice to know that other people struggle with the same things you do. And other people have the same interests as you do. And fitness is our common interest here.

It is on my mind all. the. time. I don't think 5 minutes go by where I am not thinking about my next healthy meal, my next workout, how much more fat I have to lose before I see my hamstrings, how many calories I've eaten today, etc. It's really got a hold on me. But because it is always in the back of my mind, I will be able to accomplish my goal - just not by June 1st like I had hoped.

I have made progress though, which I am excited to share with you. Despite the fact that I have had a few cheats here and there (definitely not 100% clean diet over the past month) I have lost. A quarter inch on each thigh and down to 110 pounds as of Wednesday. At my lowest, depending on where I am in my cycle, I am 111 but I haven't seen 110 on the scale in YEARS. So I have finally busted that number and I'm so happy. Even though it's not about the number on the scale, and to be honest, I would prefer it not to go down any farther. I know that to get where I want to be, I need to lose fat and my weight will go down as a result. Once I've got all the fat off (by the end of summer PLEEEZ!), I will try putting on more muscle weight.

So, what have I been doing differently to finally see some progress? Well, I guess I've really just been putting up with hunger pains. I am trying to eat less. I'm not starving myself because I know that is NOT the proper way to lose fat. But I need to get into the habit of eating less because I know that I can function on a little less than I normal take in. And it's OK to feel just a little hungry now and then. I'm not carb cycling per se, but I am really trying to limit them. For instance, I have oatmeal in the morning and then I try not to think about them the rest of the day. It's working out better than having a set schedule for when I can have them and when I can't. I guess I don't obsess over them that way. I've been filling up on protein and veg and so far so good.

I've also been training like a maniac. I thought I worked out hard enough before with my strength training 5 days a week and then a couple of HIIT sessions in between. But I figured if I want this fat loss thing to happen a little quicker (I am so impatient) I need to bump up my activity level even more. So I have been running in the evenings too. Just 30 minutes each time. Yesterday was one of my off days from strength training and I ran 30 minutes before breakfast and another 30 minutes before bed. I'm positive this will get old very fast but I am going to take advantage of my high motivation right now and burn off as much energy as I can while I still have it. I'm sure I'll burn out eventually but I'm hoping I'll have some more shrinkage in the meantime.

I love when I measure myself and I realize that I've gotten smaller because then I go into my closet and try on a bunch of stuff so I can see it. Because I can't see it when I look at my body in the mirror. I was so excited because I tried on a pair of jeans that I bought a few years ago, before we moved to Denmark, and they used to be so tight I couldn't wear them comfortably. Now, they are baggy! And some capris that I wore to the fair last summer, they were tight and I remember being so uncomfortable the whole time we were there because it was so hot and my pants were so tight. Well, I wore them yesterday and I needed a belt to keep them up!

Despite this happy news, I am still stuck with my reflection in the mirror, which haunts me as I glance over my backside and it is still a lumpy mess. Nothing is different back there. I was thinking that it was my thighs that were the problem but now I'm thinking it's my butt. Because when I measure, my thighs shrink but my butt never does.

I try to guess how much fat I think I have back there. I'll stand in front of the mirror and grab as much as I can and try to imagine how many sticks of butter I've got. Since 4 sticks of butter is a pound, I have an instant visual tool there. So as I'm grabbing my extra fat and skin I am imagining that there is about 2 sticks of fat on each side which in my mind says to me that if I could just lose 1 more pound of fat, my issues would be gone. Trouble is, I'm not going to lose it all from the area I want to lose it. But honest to God, most of it has GOT to come from there because I literally don't have any fat left on the rest of my body. Seriously. It's the honest truth. The only place I think I can spare it is my butt and thighs. Unless, of course, I lose muscle and I'm doing everything I can to ensure that doesn't happen.

I try not to think about the negatives during this happy time of loss. I need to enjoy it and pat myself on the back for a job well done, not stand there and think of how horrible it still looks back there. You know, I work REALLY hard at it. I'm not perfect, I give in to temptation and sometimes I get lazy, but I'm human and I have to expect that. Still, sometimes it doesn't seem fair that through all the sweat and soreness and hunger and just plain mental exhaustion I put myself through, I just can't get rid of that last little bit. Sigh....

It's going though, a quarter of an inch is a small amount but it's something. I'll take it. It's slow going but I will NEVER give up. Even if it's only a quarter of an inch every 3 months, eventually, I will get there.

Oh, one more thing. I know this is getting long but hang in there. I am taking so many supplements now that I think I get full before I even start eating these days! I am still taking 2 CLA capsules 3 times per day and 1 triple omega capsule 3 times per day. Now, I've got a different multi vitamin that I take 3 times per day instead of just once. Because I guess these are better absorbed by the body so you need to take them more often. And I like the idea of the nutrients I need soaking in instead of just getting peed out. Also, I am taking Schizandra and Astragalus for their benefits to the kidneys, liver and circulation. I am convinced that I have poor circulation and that could be a contributor to my lumpiness. Also, it can't hurt to try to detoxify my liver and kidneys a bit. At this point, I need to try everything I possibly can to aid me. I should be getting the nutrients I need for natural detoxification but I want to make sure I fill in any gaps. As long as it's a natural supplement, I don't see any problem.

The little things will add up.....